Our Royals!!!

 Our Royals!!!

I am your original republican -- don't like the idea of monarchs anywhere. So, forgive me, if I take a clear look at our monarchy in the light of all the recent shenanigans. I blame our press -- when they are not actively covering up for the Tories' most recent blatant act of corruption or cronyism, they are promoting one or the other member of our royal family.

   Do I need to know the details of the births in the family, the illnesses, the clothes, the foreign trips? I think: go forth and do whatever you like and leave us alone.

   As with the Tories the Press seem to have an agenda handed out to them:The last few months were spent seeking cracks in the person of Meghan. Harry marrying a non-white, especially a non-white with opinions, for Heavens Sake!  Harry was my favourite of the Royal brats, but he was hounded out efficiently. 

   Not a great lot to choose from, them royals. I have a sneaking regard for the queen, her devotion to duty and her unflappable character when the whole royal edifice is crumbling around her. However, her determination to perpetuate royalty in this country is off-putting.

   I also feel a little sorry for her -- Can't she see what will be left when she goes? Charles? As they say in the U S A, God Bless England. I am satisfied he will support the green revolution and hopefully surrender his motor car (s) and go about in a carriage and foursome. But command respect from the average person in the U K after his watery opinions, his past amatory performances? Not a hope. 'One' might have to do a lot of mea culpa ing.

   Then there is William, who always reminds me of buttermilk -- diluted, not milk and not quite yoghurt. Nothing to it, it is probably harmless. And his entourage? The less said the better. The wife is almost pretty, the children are divine... 

   Andrew is something I am trying hard to forget. Let's not go there. Edward stays out of the limelight; so does Anne, more or less. Those two know how to survive without censure. I am on their side.

   Harry had spark, humour, a will to serve, and compassion, but he is now self-exiled, more or less. He got out just in time. I hope he knows how to keep out of sight of the rabid press. The Oprah interview was probably a bad decision.

Now, if David Lammy wanted to be King for a week or two, I wouldn't mind, so long as we voted him in. But any country that votes Boris in must get its head examined. It is along way to Lammy.

   How does one stop a monarchy going on for generations of stodge? Retire them with pensions like India did to its myriad rulers. Now, there's a thought. Then they could even stand for elections and get defeated.

   

The Test Cricket Fiasco

 The Cricket Test Fiasco

I am British Indian. Yet, I would normally support India wherever they played Test cricket. Norman Tebbit was right -- my loyalties in this respect are very suspect. Most of the time it is O K; however when India plays England, we have a Lakshman Rekha down the middle of our sitting-room; my daughter strenuously and loudly supporting England and I equally stubbornly rooting for India.

However, today both of us had a sense of anti-climax, the test started with a whimper yesterday and ended today before the whimper could quite finish. India is celebrating victory, a victory, which seems to me, rather short of anything to celebrate. I feel sorry for the people of India who took five days' leave and paid a fortune by the standards of the country to watch the match.

Now, India takes its cricket seriously; the whole country holds its breath and grandmothers like me crawl out of our multiple blankets to watch the T V.

I went to a one-day, fifty over match once; this was the notorious one when match-fixing became a serious issue. Several famous Indian cricketers got banned after that. I bought myself a front-seat at the Kochi international stadium; international matches are hardly ever played in Kochi, so the occasion was unique. It was one thousand rupees a head, and I had to buy my companion's ticket too, because a thousand rupees was serious money in the India of 1998. 

At one point,India's captain Azharuddin was fielding right in front of me, a metre from the boundary line, and I felt I had got my money's worth. India made 300 runs in its innings, replying to South Africa's 300, and the match was declared a draw. The teams went inside and then --  filed out again! Apparently the last over should have had one more ball; India hit and ran blindly, and got one more run to win. Something askew, rotten in the state of Kochi, I remember thinking.

Today, however, both India and England could not manage the bowling. The totals were laughable. My daughter and I wonder what the Narendra Modi Ahmedabad pitch was like. It destroyed the game of cricket.

What we watched today was not cricket -- It was an impostor. False, off-putting and disgraceful. England need shed no tears for losing it. 

The tRump20 virus

The tRump virus20

Once you let this virus in, it is very hard to get rid of. There are no vaccinations yet for this horror. And it spreads among the illiterate, dumb and pig-headed so fast that it can destroy a whole country in months. Especially if you throw in a few cowardly, self-seeking, arse-licking senators for embellishment.

   I am desperately sad for the people of America, particularly my clever, funny, friendly, kind-hearted, friends. Everyone knew that the Senate would acquit Rump. Right-wing representatives have no interest in country or justice -- all they care about is themselves, their pockets, their connections that help sustain their pockets, and as a last resort, their Party. There are moments I doubt even that.

   Mitch McConnel is unbelievable. He can argue two extreme, opposite ends of an argument for years, without any sense of irony. After all he has been doing this for ever. He is quite shameless. I sometimes think he was the real Potus while Rump was twittering away.

   The question now is, what next? How does the country contain the virus? Impeachment over, and Rump has bounced back with his methane-powered emanations from his nether end. The guys who stormed the seat of power on the 6th of January have no individual thinking to do. That kind of crowd just wait to do whatever unholy destruction they are told to do next. They move like senseless Hippos on weed. And Rump provides the weed. 

   And then I keep coming back to the 74 (?) millions who voted Rump in, four years ago. To make America Great Again by erasing law and order and all semblance of good governance, and also by discarding the diplomacy that sustained foreign relations for decades. We British have a similar jackass too; we voted him into power with a huge majority. He is also trying to rewrite the law. In passing he has engineered us out of Europe. As disasters go, that too is irreversible

   The problem is that leaders like Rump and Johnson don't care for any person or country -- they have only themselves in mind. They are sociopaths and are dangerous.

    `

I'm Going on a --

 Summer Holiday

All this talk about summer holiday -- the journalists are nagging away for it, the businesses are demanding it, and I wonder, can the British people be that foolish?? Forget the virus doing its evil dance all over the world and fly happily into its net?

   Growing up in India as I did, the idea of a holiday was not even a remote dream in my Keralam days. When anyone got leave from work they got on a train and went to their parental homes. Indeed, if we travelled anywhere, it was to visit family or friends. It was only when I came to live in England that I realized that going on holiday was an annual ritual here, which most families -- if they could afford it -- looked forward to. There was a whole corporate sector devoted to it, families saved up for it through the year. And, when they came back from these annual pilgrimages, they came with snapshots, tan and enough table-talk for a whole year.

   I couldn't see the point of going away to live for a week or two in a hotel room or a 'home-stay.' To go a long way, to sleep in an unfamiliar bed, in a strange town, spend a great deal of money in the process, and then return home with, if you are lucky, a tan (for me, the joke of the year, probably, as I am not white) to show for it, which may last a month at most. It took me a while to realize that this is a carefully cultivated 'legend' as Hariri calls it in his 'Sapiens,' where he lists quite a few of these legends -- Gods, religions, banks... some like banks quite useful. This holiday legend benefits airlines, hotels, B and Bs, and restaurants. I can understand, to a degree, why people wish to run away from a British winter, but why go anywhere when the gardens are ablaze with colour, the sun is shining and one can pack away the winter regalia of caps, coats and cardigans. 

   I went on holiday twice in my life with my daughter and granddaughter. The little one was full of exciting stories about all the wondrous places her friends had been to over summer. Some even ended up in Kerala, where I started from! So we rented a holiday flat in Salubrenia, in Spain, for a week. I think I spent most of it on the little balcony of the flat. I read, which I could have done at home, I cooked in the little kitchenette, which I could do much better at home. Told myself I was unadventurous and boring.

   We repeated that in Ilfracombe in Devon another time. Again, lovely place, but I preferred home. I counted the days, slept badly and thought, 'never again.' In my working days I had to travel to, and live in, many interesting countries. I consoled myself that I was just fed up of travelling again, can't be my lack of initiative.

   I am really respectful of the pandemic out there. I don't want anyone to travel anywhere until it is safe to do so. And we must close our borders tight so that the invisible monsters cannot sneak in in their various mutations.When the business sector and the Press and T V do their committed daily clamour to remove all restrictions on travel, I hope that Johnson and Hancock will continue to resist the noise and do the one thing that they have got nearly right in the course of the pandemic, while the vaccinations cover the entire population of the U K. I wish they'd close down our borders properly. Maybe they are waiting out that repeated three-week lag they allow for the virus to get ahead of us.

   One year without a holiday will not kill us, but this year, a holiday just might.

What the F--k is going on with Liverpool?

 What the F--k is going on with Liverpool?

Lost to Burnley! Not even Burnley loses to Burnley, and you can't go too far down the table from Burnley. And Brighton -- I grant Brighton can surprise most people on the odd occasion. Manchester - smug - City of course, is rampant at the moment, and we fully expected, given the form at the Kop, to lose. But 4 - 1?

Poor Allison, I feel a bit sorry for him. He has not been his normal self for a while. Did Covid debilitate his nervous responses in some manner? He did not have Covid, we are told. Asymptomatic Covid?

How do we dust off and pick ourselves up? This is the point at which most managers get an expected phone call from the owners of the club. This is unlikely to happen to Klopp. However, I'd like to know what next?  My worry is Klopp will up and go without being told.

I look at the line-up and see the ball flying through the gaps in the defense. Van Dijk, Gomes, Matip, who next? I thought the stalwarts were a little less stalwart, with flashes of inspiration occasionally. Trent -Alexander sent some accurate long balls and then dithered when Sterling shook his hip near him. Mane sent a shot, a sitter, over the post -- he has been doing that a lot recently. Salah is coming back to form, but not quite there yet. Firmino, much criticised, is showing his strengths, but Henderson and Fabinho in defense? We lost them in the mid-field, where they were entirely reliable, and put them in unfamiliar roles. And I could see the vast open spaces in midfield.

I hope Jota is back soon. Van Dijk too. And Klopp has to dissect the last few games and show the players where they were falling short. Invincible Robertson included.

Hang in there, Klopp. You are good at this. Throw a tantrum in the dressing room and sort this mess out -- please. 

It is a sad state of affairs when an 86 year old grandma decides she no longer enjoys watching Li-Ver-Pool. 

Confused.Anand

 Confused.anand

I live in a state of confusion, which I happily ascribe to old age, senility and such like. 

   When I attempt to cook, I have to consider my son who is diabetic and cannot eat sugar, starch and all things delicious. Manju is dieting and doesn't like fried foods. Asha does not eat Indian food and will run a mile if curry is mentioned. Her favourite foods are those that get delivered at the door, and need hand-washing after opening parcels. I am tempted to leave the cooking to the picky denizens of my home. And retire with a book. Retire with a book, anyway. I am especially confounded as I grew up in war-time and you ate what was put in front of you, and emptied your plate -- or your banana leaf.

   There is non-stop footies on the screen and Manju, my daughter, can live off a diet of football most days. When football is off for a while, she shows withdrawal symptoms. I like watching Liverpool because that's my team. I also watch matches that might immediately upset Liverpool. But, in general, it is just a backdrop to my reading. And I must add -- love Klopp's enormously toothy smile. 

   However, football also confuses me:

How come you can push people harder, knock them down, injure them for many months ( eg. Van Djike) , and the refs don't miss a beat? Fouling is now an art -- clearly each club employs a special fouling coach. How to fall down, how to stay down, how to show pain by grimacing, how to lift your head ever so slightly to make sure the opposition has been punished before bouncing up and running amok.

   And then there is spitting. Today one footballer started as he walked out on to the pitch. I am concerned it will soon spread to the benches and side-lines. When did spitting become so commonplace? Keralam has just passed a law making spitting in public places punishable. We have a long tradition of hawking and spitting excellence. Walking out from our houses us girls lift our sari hems up and look down for the bobs and globs. We are finely attuned to the tenets of female modesty as well as the state of the lane we are walking on.

   There are many more things. Such as -- the booker shortlist, which never includes the best books about in the year. I read four from the list in the last week -- I shall remember only one next month -- WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING by Delia Owens. The others are all well-written, but don't go anywhere. Forgettable characters, lean plots and self-indulgence. I am at a loss to understand.

I think I must start:

        a book-blog on what not to read;

        elementary manners in public places...

Just so I can confuse others beside myself.

WELCOME new POTUS

WELCOME new POTUS

Writing posts daily -- not normal for me at all. I am fundamentally a lazy geek. But, I watched that pile of slate-coloured, files with the U S Government seal on them, going swiftly from right to left of Biden, as he signed them, and I wanted to hug him. So much of that Washington sump, which tRump was going to clear, but which he churned up instead, into a gross pulchritude, is being sluiced out.

Thank you, Biden, on behalf of the immigrants who have been given breathing space; on behalf of all the Americans who are living in fear of Covid; on behalf of the world, the WHO, the Paris Accord... from which Rump had peremptorily dragged America away; on behalf of all my American friends who cringe every time POTUS passed destructive burger-flatulence again. 

And now, if Biden can get the police to treat black people with grace and goodwill,  if he can create an America in which all men are treated equal, even if they are not so born, I will have to go all the way to Washington to hug him

Now, also, if we could just get rid of our dithering P M, always three weeks too late to any decision, incompetent and careless, I could really celebrate.